How To Take Control & More

Thinkstock”I love this one, because it gives you maximum power for no effort.”

reader’s question

Hey ,

From your book, I basically know to approach women and not have thoughts like, “Am I going to hook up with her?” I also know that I should have the attitude that I am selecting her, not her selecting me. Is that correct? What now?


SunLady responds

Ben, my man, you seem to totally get it. You need to be the one who’s in control when it comes to getting dates with amazing women. In other words, you must learn to become the kind of man who’s the “selector,” running the game and calling the shots.

But here’s what you have to remember: To actually make it happen, execution is everything. The devil is in the details. You have to see the forest for the trees. Insert your favorite cliche here.

No matter how you say it, it’s the reason why I want to take this opportunity to talk to all men who may be wondering about the specifics of becoming the confident, in-control “selector” instead of the wuss-bag “selectee” when it comes to approaching women.

Quickly, there are four quick and easy things you can do to give off the right signals when you approach a woman and transfer the power in the situation directly to you:

1- Act bored
I love this one, because it gives you maximum power for no effort. Basically, pretend that you’ve known the woman you’re approaching for 20 years, and that you’re already bored with her, before she even opens her mouth. It’ll drive her crazy with surprise, confusion and frustration the more convincingly you can pull it off.

2- Pick out something “wrong” about her
Not only does this eliminate the “mystique” that makes you nervous on approach, it also gives you a game plan right out of the gate. Immediately tease her about her shoes, if she flubs a word, whatever. Bust her balls for it. It will instantly show that you’re confident and in control like no other man who’s ever approached her.

3- Pretend that she’s the one interested in you
This one’s just plain fun. Approach a woman and act like she’s been pursuing you all night. Pretend that you’re tired of resisting her. Make jokes about it: “You have to stop following me around,” and say things like, “I just don’t think things are going to work out between us.”

4- Never, ever compliment her
And I mean it. Make sure that you give her absolutely no compliments of any kind. If she gives you any, turn it around on her and say something like, “That’s a cheesy pick-up line. Can’t you think of something more original?” This shifts the entire balance of power, putting you in the position of the chooser, which is exactly where you want to be.

Do these things, and women will give you that oh-no-you-didn’t-just-say-that look. You’ll feel a certain tension in the air. You’ll notice that some women look at you as if they can’t believe what they’re hearing.

If you’re particularly sharp and funny, you might have one or two of them say, “I like you, we have to hang out sometime,” within the first few minutes of the conversation. And guess what: This is something you will never hear when you’re giving off the Wuss vibe.

…I want you to use my advanced techniques for amping up the sexual tension with her until she can barely keep from ripping your clothes off.” These are the things that the “naturals” hear, the men whose success with women is absolutely effortless. These are things that the “chooser” hears, and they mean that you have taken back all the power. Once you experience this feeling, you’ll become addicted to it. You will wonder how you ever lived without it (and all the women you can suddenly get) for so long. You’ll see.

reader’s question

Hi ,

I recently realized that I have an issue getting clingy when I get close to a girl. In my most recent relationship it ended up being the reason why she stopped seeing me.

But now this woman has recently started to contact me again and it seems like she might be interested in starting to hang out again. I’ve been working on myself a lot and I know that, with another chance, I can show her that I’m a real man and not a Wuss. So how can I go about showing this woman that I am still interested in her and would really succeed with another chance?


SunLady responds

Jeremy, your question basically boils down to one issue: how to make the most of a second chance. And the simple answer is: Treat it like it’s your first chance.

Now that you’ve been “working on yourself,” the first time you see this girl again, I want you to use all the advice that I give as if you’ve never met her before.

I want you to stop buying her dinners and gifts, and start using Cocky & Funny to bust her balls.

I want you to use the Kiss Test to find out with absolute certainty when she’s ready to take things to the next level, and then I want you to use my advanced techniques for amping up the sexual tension with her until she can barely keep from ripping your clothes off.

I want you to pass her “tests” with flying colors. I want you to take control in every situation and set the agenda for what’s going to happen between you.

Above all, I want you to never, ever let up once you begin to show her the new you. Too many guys forget what got them where they are with a woman in the first place, and before they know it, she’s losing interest. Flaking out. She’s suddenly more interested in the bad boy down the street.

But do these things (and keep it up) the same way as if you had just met her, and watch the results. You’ll be on the fast track to proving to her that you’re a new man — that you’re now totally in control instead of a clingy Wuss, and that the rules of the game have changed.

Believe me, if you do it right, you’ll positively take her breath away. She’ll be thinking about you day and night, and she’ll be so stunned by the superhero transformation you’ve undergone that she’ll probably start begging to be with you every moment of the day.

And when she does, always leave her wanting more.